LITTLE ROCK'N'ROLL QUEEN
♡ everything and.....
Yesterday marked day 1 of a self imposed 30 day break from booze (gasp, I know). I’ve been wanting to do this for a while now, but it always seemed like the worst timing. What I realized (or finally admitted to myself) is there’s always gonna be someone’s birthday or a gig or a band I love playing. It’s never convenient to give up a vice. I feel pretty rested today, even though I went to shows and stayed out til 5 am. I felt noticeably different meeting new people (a little shy? a little unsure?) and finding the motivation to dance in a sweaty crowd to Australian band Pond last night, but I had fun still! It’s a beautiful Sunday, and I don’t have a hangover, the day is mine! So if anyone else wants to join me on this month of clean living shoot me a message and let’s support each other!
Sometimes we have to do things for people we despise in order to maintain order. It’s the act of keeping yourself from telling people to just “fu*k off” sometimes that will get you further in life. That’s it, I just unlocked the key to success. You’re welcome.
On a happy note, how beautiful is San Clemente (pictured above)?
I’ve had to set aside time this week to clean out my belongings and throw things away. I’m mostly down to the tough stuff, momentos and photos. It feels like the biggest chore ever and seems to keep dragging on. But it’s mostly painful because it forces me to think about the past and ghosts and places lost. Those things will nip at your heels if you don’t keep a quick enough pace in the opposite/better direction. That may sound more like running away than moving on. Well, either way, at least I can clean out the tangible mess first, the rest will follow suit.
What’s up is down, what’s down is up. I’ve been feeling a little flipped up-side-down lately. Balancing travel and writing and the band and a social life! Ooof. I’m gonna get caught up, I promise! Doing some stretching at Belle Isle on the James river helped me find some balance. Sometimes life looks a little clearer when you look through it’s reflection.
Tangled up in blue. My girlfriend Laura of On The Racks, referred me to the best hair colorist in NYC (and probably the world). Follow him on IG - @brianadelman and hit him up for your own hair color fantasies, he’s a dreamboat ladies! Photo by: Jono Bernstein
Head to Toe: Sunglasses: Vintage, Necklace: RocksBox, Dress: vintage, Shirt: BDG, Shoes: Converse
The nights grow later and the mornings come earlier, yet I still manage to get things done. Amen to that.
"I would rather write or record something great and have it overlooked than do mediocre work and have it be popular."
- Patti Smith
About this time a year ago I finally read Just Kids by Patti Smith. This is the first year in about 5 I haven’t taken myself on some big trip to a far away land (specifically alone) to coincide with my birthday. I usually coordinate these trips to tie into something I’m reading and ideas I hope to explore in my writing/photography while away. I suppose my trek to California acted as a substitute this year. But since I was traveling with a close companion, I didn’t feel the loneliness of new places like I desired. I think this week I am going to re-read Just Kids as well as study the history of the Chelsea Hotel. Instead of traveling thousands of miles away, I’m going to travel back to NYC in the late 70’s.
Procrastination is a worldwide epidemic. I heard that in an NPR talk this week and I agree. I suppose unlike a normal job, working in the arts requires one part motivation, one part diligence and then this remaining third that is some where between being inspired and being “in the mood” to create. It’s a fickle business. I suppose a stricter regime would help my own efforts for productivity, but I often don’t even make my bed, so sticking to anything is difficult. And when you live a life lacking routine, how does one stay on top of things. Routine is the answer right? Or at least I can hope it is the right path towards the end goal. I guess I’ll start there, forming new habits that encourage artistic productivity. Here’s to routine!
This has been the summer of walking. I’m usually an avid bike rider, but for the warm months I’ve taken to the streets on foot! I hope to get back on two wheels for fall, since nothing beats a good bike ride on a brisk autumn day.
"And so with the sunshine and the great bursts of leaves growing on the trees, just as things grow in fast movies, I had that familiar conviction that life was beginning over again with the summer.” ― F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby
Summer is over. No matter how hard I chase it. I was fortunate to do my fair share of exploring. I watched several beautiful sun rises, danced in dark, sweaty clubs, and guzzled cold beer. It’s hard to be too sad to see the season go when I feel like I enjoyed it the best I could.
I’ve been hiding from the internet. Did you miss me? About a month ago Jono and I took a trip to California. We explored every nook and cranny, saw a lot of shows, shot too much film, ate too many tacos, and indulged our wanderlust. When we returned back to NYC, I lost someone very close to me to cancer. I was lucky enough to say my goodbyes, but that doesn’t truly ease the pain of losing a loved one. You will never understand death and the fatality of life until you go through this. My thoughts go out to anyone who has lost someone close to them, you are not alone and you are loved. That’s all that needs to be said for now. I wish I could lay on a blanket again in Big Sur and be thankful for everything I have, because life is a fragile balance between grief and humility.